I May Not Like the Guy, But
by Aya-kun Rose
Summary: Set somewhere after book 6, after Outo, anyway. We all know Fai likes Kurogane, but also feels that Kurochan hates him. Onesided FaiKuro, from Kurogane's POV. Rated for Kurorin's foul mouth and internal monologue.


Kurogane knew they should have declined the invitation, even if it was from their host. He wished he could have waited politely for half an hour and excused himself, like Sakura and Syaoran had. He almost wished Mokona hadn't gone with them, leaving Fai and himself alone at the party without a translator.

Not that he had any interest in talking with anybody here. They were all kids, kids who thought they'd grown up. And he certainly didn't want to talk to Fai, who was now as drunk as the rest of them. He'd spent the first ten minutes after their arrival getting wasted, and then pestered Kurogane with his drunken giddiness for quite a while, stopping only when he finally realized that the taller man couldn't understand a word he was saying.

During the short time when they had been able to communicate, Kurogane had stated quite firmly that he hated drunks. Fai, upon hearing this, simply poured more liquor into the flimsy red cups that everybody was carrying around.

If Kurogane had cared to think about it, Fai was probably still hurt from their exchange back in Outo. That was when he had almost happily proclaimed that he was the type Kurogane must hate the most, and then within the same night produced two or three more reasons why he was.

He didn't seem like the one to drown his sorrows in alcohol, but from what Kurogane had seen, he definitely was.

So that's why he had stayed at the party, because he knew that Fai was probably going to die of alcohol poisoning at the rate he was going, and needed somebody to carry him home. He had stayed for that, and also because he knew he was the reason why Fai wanted to lose himself in cup after cup of that cheap-tasting stuff they called beer.

Kurogane didn't exactly _hate_ Fai, but he certainly didn't feel the same way as Fai did about him. And exactly how Fai felt about him...he dared not think too deeply on that. It was unsafe and frightening territory.

So for the last few hours, Fai had been running around crazy-like, drawing things on people and babbling nonsense at them, and generally being a nuisance. Now it was past midnight, and Kurogane had no idea when the madness would end, when Fai would reach his limit and just plain pass out.

Just about now, it seemed. With mild concern, Kurogane saw the blond swaying dangerously away from a circle of young men, all drunk. With a tired sigh, he crossed to the other man's side, and grabbed his shoulders. Fai looked up with watery eyes that closed in a smile when they recognized him. He mumbled something in that airy language of his, and collapsed in Kurogane's arms.

Kurogane rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Hey, get up. We're going home now." The others in the circle gawked drunkenly at the words they couldn't understand why they didn't understand.

Then their gazes all at once shifted down. Kurogane scowled, looking down as well. Then he yelled, seeing that Fai had given in to the alcohol, and had been sick all over the front of his jacket. A clean white floor-length jacket on loan from their host in this world.

"How could you do this to me!" he shouted angrily. "Throw up on your own self, idiot!"

But Fai only smiled, even in sleep, his own borrowed white suit sparkling clean. Kurogane glared at the bystanders, daring them to laugh. Then he hauled Fai away, into a darkened side room he'd seen earlier. He fairly tossed him onto a couch in there, stomping away to a bathroom to clean himself up.

He hurried, just wanting to get him and the drunk idiot home and into bed. He was grumbling to himself when he finally returned to the couch, but stopped dead at what he saw. There were now two blond men in white jackets seated there, only the one that was not Fai was bigger and his hair darker. This stranger was also not passed out. As Kurogane watched, the man leaned predatorily over Fai, turning the wizard's head towards him.

Kurogane's brows came together in confusion and annoyance. What the hell was he doing? He took a step forward, and what he saw made his simple annoyance turn to red hot anger instantly.

"Get the hell offa him!" he roared, charging the offender.

Even though his words surely were not understood, at the sound of them the other man whirled away from the couch. He was quick, Kurogane cursed. Quick like that damn Fai. He threw half a glance to the couch, Fai's partially opened jacket confirming what he expected. He put his the backs of his hands on his hips, and turned to the one who been in the process of undressing him.

"I may not like the guy, but I can't let bastards like you take advantage of drunken idiots." He scowled at the man, and at his pink suit under the trench coat, and at his purple shirt. Yeah, he looked just the type to try and get lucky with passed out partiers. Kurogane hated him.

The man started to laugh. What he was laughing at, the ninja didn't know and didn't care. He propelled himself forward, planning on beating that pervert out of existence.

But again, the man dodged before he could reach him. And as Kurogane looked angrily around for him, he appeared abruptly and punched him solidly in the eye. Kurogane cursed loudly, bringing a hand up to his face. The man was still laughing.

He growled, turning to attack again. But the stranger was standing in the doorway talking with a person Kurogane recognized as the party thrower. This man now turned to Kurogane, and started talking in an angry tone. It was all gibberish to him, but he got the message.

"He started it," Kurogane shouted uselessly back in his defense, turning to the couch.

He stopped, struck again by what he saw. Fai was awake, staring up at him. But there was no hint of a smile, no trace of goofy drunkenness. And those eyes...they looked so cold. No. They looked dead. Kurogane didn't need Mokona to know what those eyes were plainly telling him.

_You shouldn't have stopped him. I know where that was going, I know how much worse I'd feel after, and you shouldn't have stopped him._

And then the blue eyes fell shut under heavy looking lids, and Fai drooped slightly into the couch.

There was a hand at his arm, and Kurogane was pulled from staring at Fai by the owner of the house. He didn't even pretend to listen as he shrugged the hand off, going to sling the delicate wizard easily over his shoulder. He'd forgotten about the earlier mess, but Fai's weight pressed his damp shirt against him.

"Yeah, yeah, we're leaving. I wouldn't stay at your stupid party for another minute." He glared at the pink-clad stranger on his way out, muttering obscenities about him and the party in general, knowing that they'd have no idea what he was saying.

The walk back to their current residence was uneventful. Fai's weight wasn't a problem for his strength. And at least this time he wasn't wiggling crazily around like a drunk cat.

The house was quiet when they returned. No doubt the kids were long asleep. He vaguely wondered if their host, the fool who invited them to the party in the first place, was still there, but he really didn't care. Without hesitation he turned in the direction of Fai's room. He had half a mind just to drop him somewhere on the floor, but…he just stalked to the room, trying not to think about why he felt so kind today.

He deposited Fai less than gracefully on the bed, then turned to go. But something—he didn't want to call it his conscience—held him there. Fai just lay there on his back, the cape and lapels of his jacket bunched around his head. Even Kurogane had to admit it looked...uncomfortable.

Grudgingly, the darker man leant to pull Fai into a sitting position. His jacket was almost completely unfastened, and he felt a brief resurgence of anger at the thought of what could have happened if he had been gone for any longer. But that was passed. It was a tricky job pulling the jacket off the completely boneless man, but he was eventually able to toss it to the floor.

He paused, wondering if he should remove his high-collared shirt as well. But as his fingers brushed the top button, the sickening feeling that he was just like that other man washed over him. Kurogane forcibly ignored it. He wasn't anything like that pervert. He certainly didn't have any lecherous plans for the unconscious man in his arms. Still, he fumbled with the buttons in his haste to finish with it and leave.

There, that was good enough. He re-positioned Fai on the bed, looking down on him for a moment. Then he shook his head, as if coming to his senses, and finally turned to make his exit. He was stopped again, but this time it wasn't due to conscience or anything on his part.

He looked down to see Fai's pale fingers wrapped around one of his big wrists. He shifted to face him. "Don't be pretending to sleep! Either be awake or not!" he said gruffly.

Fai's hand slipped off his, falling to the bed. "I want to you stay here with me tonight," he whispered, feathery bangs concealing his eyes.

Kurogane's eyes went wide, and he all but jumped away. "What! What are you talking about? I am _not_ sharing a bed with you!"

Fai was very still. "I know you hate me. But I don't want you to leave me." His voice grew softer until it almost disappeared at the end of his sentence. He pulled his arm in protectively over his stomach.

"You're drunk! No!" Kurogane had trouble processing and responding. What was he hearing? He had been slowly understanding the meaning behind Fai's teasing and playful looks and unnecessary touching, but he had firmly decided on denial. What Fai was saying now...it threatened to shatter that shield of denial once and for all.

"I didn't mean it like that," Fai murmured with a hint of—what? disgust? in his voice. Kurogane watched with some unidentifiable emotion welling up inside as Fai seemed to shrink. He turned on his side away from Kurogane, pulling his long legs up and tucking his head down, curling into himself. Somehow, it was one of the most disturbing sights the ninja had ever seen.

"Fai…" Kurogane tried, and the name felt weird on his lips. He realized he had probably never called the man by his name before. He paused, watching the man's pale back as he thought of his options. He could just leave, and hurt Fai even more, or he could swallow his pride and stay with him.

He wanted to leave. He wanted to very badly. He was a heartless fighter who killed anybody who stood in his way. But not tonight. Tonight he was just a heartless jerk who didn't deserve the affection of the one he hurt the most. The one who still wanted him close. Fai made him feel guilty, and he was not comfortable with that.

Kurogane forced himself to not think of anything as he shrugged out of his long jacket, his coat, his vest, his tie and his shirt. Some worlds were just crazy when it came to attire.

He forced himself not to think of anything as he yanked the blanket out from under Fai, climbed in with his back to him, and pulled the covers over them both. Now all he had to do was concentrate on sleeping so he could wake up as soon as possible.

He heard Fai turn, and then be still. He could imagine the look the wizard had right about now. Surprise, for sure. Then some other expressions he didn't want to think about, like admiration or happiness.

Then Fai slowly started to shift towards him. He tensed, suspicious and already starting to regret his decision. But he stopped just a short distance away, just close enough for Kurogane to feel his warmth.

"You're not pretending to sleep, are you, Kuro-pon?" the wizard asked innocently.

Kurogane bit back an angry reply. Maybe he'd be left in peace if Fai thought he was actually asleep. The irony was not wasted on him.

"I'm sorry you got punched on account of me," Fai started again. Kurogane could feel the little puffs of his breath. "I was just...I thought I'd let him..." He laughed once in a way that made Kurogane's stomach turn. "I can be a bit self-destructive when I'm sad."

He didn't want to hear any more. He didn't want to know that Fai was willing to be molested by a stranger just because he, Kurogane, thought he was a bother. It couldn't be that way. It wasn't supposed to be that way. They were just traveling companions until they found all of Sakura's feathers, or until Kurogane found his own world again. It wasn't supposed to be as complicated as it had become.

Suddenly, a cold hand was placed on his back. It warmed quickly, absorbing his heat. "You're so tense, Kurogane," Fai whispered, lightly brushing his long fingers over the muscle before taking his hand away.

Despite his efforts, Kurogane shivered. He didn't know if it was the use of his proper name, the voice that said it, or the touch, or any combination thereof, but he was still angry that he had let himself do it. He willed himself to relax, knowing that he could never sleep (or fake sleep) as tense as he was. If only that damn magician weren't _so damn close_.

Little by little he let the tension out of his muscles, relaxing into the bed. If he concentrated, the warmth of another body even helped. It still took a long time, so by then he was sure that Fai was asleep, too.

But then a forehead came to rest against the base of his neck, and it took all his willpower not to tense completely up again.

"Kurogane?" came Fai's voice softly, "Are you asleep yet?"

Yeah, like he had spent all the effort to pretend to be asleep just to ruin it by answering such a dumb question. He stayed silent.

"Good," Fai whispered into the silence.

In the next few moments Kurogane sincerely wished he had answered, or at least that he had really fallen asleep. He blushed into the darkness as Fai confessed to him all the things he had tried so desperately not to believe.

He stayed awake long after he was sure Fai had fallen asleep for real, staring out ahead of him. He waited the few hours for daybreak, when he would slip out of the bed, gather his clothes, and leave the sleeping magician to wake up alone.

* * *

I thought I'd let you know the stranger was Yuuto from X. He's the type to do that, no? Sorry if this didn't make so much sense, I wanted to write it for the sad angsty ending is all.


End file.
